I want to live simply. I want to sit by the window when it rains and read books I’ll never be tested on. I want to paint because I want to, not because I’ve got something to prove. I want to listen to my body, fall asleep when the moon is high and wake up slowly, with no place to rush off to. I want not to be governed by money or clocks or any of the artificial restraints than humanity imposes on itself. I just want to be, boundless and infinite.
I copied this down in my notebook from somewhere but didn’t put who wrote it – could it be Thoreau? No, perhaps not – but whoever it was – thank you.
bluebells and forget-me-not
There is a rhythm to my days ...just as there is a rhythm to the seasons. I thrive on routine ... take my routine away and I flounder. I am not the free-spirit I hoped I would be ... I need the security of knowing what the next day will bring and what I will bring to it. Does this make me boring and predictable ... maybe ... but I have to run my life the way it suits me ... I feel safer that way.
So, when my car decided enough was enough and the key in the starter produced nothing but a groan I was left wrong-footed ... it doesn't take much to put me off my stride. I had been dressed and ready to go shopping ... but now I had to wait for the breakdown service, then a trip to the garage ... and a wait of three days to get my car back in working order.
My routine had gone to pot and there was nothing I could do about it but wait.
Would we be able to manage without my regular Tuesday food shopping trip ... as it turns out ... we would. I tend to be an 'over-buyer' ... stocking up on supplies before they run out ... this week this system has served me well. I actually didn't need to go food shopping I had plenty in stock ... in the larder cupboard ... in the fridge ... in the freezer. We have managed fine. So why do I feel the need to food shop every week ... fill the cupboards … routine and habit - I guess.
erysimum ‘Bowles Mauve’
And how has it been without my car ... living out here, it is a comfort knowing it is there should the need arise. I look from the window and see an empty space and a small wave of panic rises. Silly I know. Without the car I feel trapped. Even if I don’t use it. Call it a lifeline if you like.
My enjoyable weekly trawl of second-hand bookshops and charity shops had to be given a miss also ... I took my mind off it by gardening ... where would I be without my garden ... miserable that's where.
cornflower (centaurea montana)
With a bit of luck I will be able to collect my car today (Friday) ... all mended and ready to go. Trauma over ... till the next time! (Since I drafted this post, the car has been collected, and back where it should be – phew).
Me: Just popping to the garden centre for some potting compost.
Him: Oh right. I’ll just carry on mowing the lawn then – see you later.
Me: I’m back.
Carrying an armful of plants.
Him: I thought you were just going for potting compost.
Me: Didn’t you know – it’s against the law to visit a garden centre and not buy plants.
Him: Oh right. Whose law is that then?
I’ve had a busy weekend in the garden – mainly with my nose two inches from the soil weeding in between new seedlings. I had to re-sow some carrots and parsnips which seem to have disappeared since my last visit. The frost the other night nipped the top of the potato plants – darn – will have to wait and see if they recover! My neighbour lost all her french beans to the frost – I have offered her my spares.
Looking back at pictures of this time last year to the exact day – I can’t believe the difference there are still daffodils, the tulips are only just opening and the spring border looks incredibly bare
spring border 2013 05 05
What a difference a year makes. This is a posy made on the 10th May 2013. At least three weeks behind this year.
I love looking back through the photographs to see the differences in the garden from year to year.
‘Til next time – take care – and thanks for visiting.