One Moment at a Time

 
 

And that is how change happens.  One gesture.  One person.
One moment at a time ~ Libba Bray
 
Change doesn't come easily to me - I seem to spend a lot of time resisting it.  But change still happens whether I like it or not.  It unsettles me.  Of course, some change ends up being for the better - but that doesn't help the way I feel about it initially.
 
 
 
Things change.  And friends leave.  Life doesn't stop for anybody.
~ Stephen Chbosky
 
A few things have happened that have made me ruminate about change.  The first is that we have decided that the living room needs updating/re-decorating - it is well overdue and will need major surgery - unsettling as chaos will ensue.
 
 

 
Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes.  Don't resist them;
that only creates sorrow.  Let reality be reality.  Let things
flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
~ Lao Tzu
 
The second thing is that my lovely neighbour is leaving.  We have been friends for thirteen years and I will miss her.  It means getting to know a new neighbour and starting all over again - unsettling.
 
 

 
You are always you, and that don't change, and you're always
changing, and there's nothing you can do about it.
~ Neil Gaiman
 
 
Then when I went shopping, two of the shops had changed their layout since I last went in - I couldn't find anything, unsettling.  The garden is always changing - flowers here one minute and gone the next.  The weather is always changing - one day perfect, that you wish could go on forever - the next day pouring rain, that seems to last forever. 
 
 
(flying ants)
 
 I wish I could embrace change, relish and enjoy the difference - get in the groove so to speak.  But not all change is for the better - it happens in every aspect of life, and I have to learn to live with it - but I don't have to like it.
 
 
Change - The Inevitable
Jake Harris
 
Change is to one man the death of a friend,
To another the birth of a child.
Change is the shifting of soft winds of spring,
to a hurricane deadly and wild.

Change is the moving of the hourglass sands,
It's the coming of dawn after dark.
Change is taking one step at a time,
The emotion in each persons heart.

But change in the end, will not change at all
The one constant in everyone's lives
Change is the light at the end of the tunnel
The healer who opens our eyes.
 
 
That's it for now - 'til next time - don't go changing.
 

Elaine


Comments

  1. I am absolutely hopeless at accepting change Elaine ….. I don't like it at all. I don't like friend's moving away, or trees being cut down …… I have never changed my broadband, gas or electricity suppliers, I'm that bad !! We have only lived in three houses as I'm not very good at moving either !! We have lived in this house for nearly 30 years !! I do quite like a bit of decorating though !!
    I think that we must try and embrace it a bit more, don't you ? XXXX

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    1. Oh good - someone who is the same as me. I was beginning to think that I was on my own in this. I do like the end result of decorating - it's just the upheaval I don't enjoy - but if you want to live in nice surroundings you have to put up with it I guess. And yes, we really should try harder to embrace change - but it aint easy.

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  2. Change can be inevitable sometimes. What lovely photos, greetings!

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    1. yes, I know this - but it doesn't make it any easier.

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  3. Lovely post and pictures. I sympathise as I think that many people don't like change and only embrace it uneasily. I really don't like being unsettled. Flighty xx

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    1. Thanks Flighty. I think the older I get the worse I become at accepting changes and yes change is unsettling.

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  4. Like you I find change unsettling and there does seem to be lots of things changing at the moment. I feel that especially with technology and language, we too need to decorate a couple of rooms but I dread the upset it will cause. Hope you have a lovely weekend in spite of the unsettling weather :)

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    1. This modern age sometimes baffles me and I feel really out of touch and confused by it all but don't tell anyone I admitted that. Have a lovely weekend yourself.

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  5. I really love decorating and giving rooms a new look but I hate it when shops change layouts

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    1. You don't want to come and help with ours do you? We aren't just decorating though - the whole room is having a makeover which I am sure I will post about as and when it happens. And yes, change of shop layout is so annoying.

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  6. I'm with you Elaine - I hate it when friends made move away, I dislike the summer changing quickly into autumn, I don't like the way our bodies change, I hate the latest changes in the technology world when they are beyond my comprehension, and my grandchildren are changing into grown ups far too fast. Last evening our wonderful, wonderful young hedge-man called to say he is moving away to Norfolk, I thought he would be with us forever - I hate change, who will cut my hedge the way I like it done now?

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    1. Oh I know what you mean Rosemary - sounds like we are kindred spirits. Sorry about your hedge-man hope you find someone as good to replace him - I'm pretty handy with a pair of shears if you get stuck!

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  7. I love the first and the last photos. Things change as we go through life. I moved some years ago and my friends are dispersed. I keep in touch through emails, letters and occasional phone calls. Life is different, to be sure, but it can still be good in unexpected ways.

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    1. Thanks Sandra. Oh yes - it can be good in some ways but I like the old order when you know where you are with things. C'est la vie.

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  8. If there is one thing that unsettles life, it is change. When my students would complain because they had to learn a new way, I'd tell them that we grow in adversity. I don't know if they understood the lesson. My young grandson has had to deal with his friend moving this summer from across the street to a mile away. I tried to tell him that life changes; he didn't want to hear it. Nor the rest of us. I hate it when the grocery store changes things. I make my list according to the aisles, then management goes and moves product around. Subtle. From one side of the aisle across to the other. Really? My grocery store is huge, not a little neighborhood grocery, but a sell everything you stuff into a building. Then just as we learn where the mustard is shelved, they move it. Love the last photo, Elaine. The colors are my favorite.

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    1. Hi ~Ann - I remember when my best friend left to go and live abroad - I was heartbroken and felt abandoned - I don't think I have ever really forgiven her - sad but true. I am sure the stores do it on purpose just to confuse us - one day we will have our revenge - not sure how, but I'm working on it. LOL.

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  9. The best changes are those that we are in control of, and have decided through our own actions require changing. I would be devastated if my neighbor moved away and I empathize with you on that score.

    Wishing you peace through the may unsettling changes to come. Beautiful photos as usual. Thank you for sharing them.

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    1. Thank you CD. I think we keep putting these decisions off until there is just no alternative and we have to make changes but I like to think I have made the decision myself and not been forced into it. I shall miss my neighbour terribly but what can you do - I am sure we will stay in touch, at least I hope so.

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  10. -sigh- Same here. I don't like change. I am a quite a "set-patterns-person", and I know it.

    I especially don't like the big scary changes. But no one likes those.

    How do we attempt to deal with change? Because it is always happening... Just like the Wheel Of The Year is always moving on...... And all the Universe, is in constant change.

    How to put ourselves in tune, with Nature, and with what always is????

    Ahhh yes, a major question.

    Tessa

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    1. I hate to think I'm not flexible or adventurous but clearly I'm not. But if I think about it clearly if I hadn't made changes in my life I wouldn't be where I am today but as the change was gradual perhaps I didn't even realise it.

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  11. RE: My Instagram post..... I too am non-techy!!!!!

    Over many years, I have learned a lot about Blogger, and do many things easily. But new things, not so much.

    Instagram has intrigued me, probably more, because not having a smart phone, I could not "play along." (Nothing like not having something, to want it! LOL)

    When we got the Galaxy, I had an ap for Instagram!!! -happy dance- Now I could join the fun.

    Yes, it took me a bit of learning, but I'm lucky to have a granddaughter who came over and showed me things. And I kept plugging along, on my own. Kind of like solving a puzzle and I do love to solve things. ,-)

    I'm not all there! But it seems like a fun place to put photos, and not have to write much. And it certainly is a fun place for me, to see what others are doing. :-)

    Not pushing it. Just saying that I am having fun with it, even non-techy-me. And our own fun is what we all seek, with any social media things. :-)

    Tessa

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    1. I'm sure I'll get around to it eventually Tessa - I'm just a bit slow on the uptake.

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  12. Huuuuuuuuuuu? My link above, does not work.

    So I will try again. Another try at a link, to that post of mine...

    Tessa

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  13. Lovely photos Elaine. My favourite is the one across the fields, very clever capture of dark and light.

    I can accept change quite readily but I don't like it when friends move away. It can be very hard sometimes.

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    1. Thanks Rachel. I am always taking seasonal photos of the patchwork of the fields I find them fascinating as they change. I agree when friends move away it is hard as good ones don't come along very often, especially when they live close enough to see and chat to them regularly and they understand what makes you tick.

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  14. What lovely quotes and poem!Change....ah yes, it's certainly not all good is it, and as you say, we don't have to like it! What a shame about your neighbour, I would hate that too....I hope you manage to stay in touch, thirteen years is a long time...
    I love decorating when it's done and everything looks fresh and new, but holy Moses, how I hate the process, disruption, disruption, disruption! I hope it all goes well, and just think how lovely it will be for...sorry to use the C word....Christmas! Gorgeous pics, just loved the cows.xxx

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    1. Thanks Dina. I must say I was a bit shocked when she broke the news but it is family circumstances that made the move necessary. Apparently the lady who is moving in seems very nice, fingers crossed - I have had some troublesome neighbours in my time. Only time will tell.

      Oh absolutely I'm with you and the disruption that decorating causes, I dread it but have to admit I do like the end result. And how dare you mention the 'C' word in your comment - go and wash your mouth out. LOL. Take care my friend.

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  15. Changes can sometimes be rather rattling at best and upsetting at worst but I suppose they are an inevitable part of life. I do sympathise Elaine especially with regard to your neighbour departing. Talking about changes has your blog header changed or have I just been unobservant?

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    1. Yes I changed my header a few blog posts ago. I change it quite often when I get bored with seeing the same one every day.

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  16. I love the beautiful flower photos, Elaine. Noticeable that you took some after the rain - now THAT I wouldn't mind changing for some sunshine!
    I have moved house more times than I can remember properly - I think there must be gypsy in my blood - so I can't say that I dislike change, but as already mentioned, some changes that upset me are the growing up of the little grandchildren - too fast - and the horrible way the body changes as we get older and technology! Well! I can cope quite OK with my laptop and Skype and blogging, etc. but as for Smart phones - no thanks. My geeky youngest son keeps trying to persuade me to move on from my basic phone - calls and texts only - to one that seemingly washes up and cooks dinner as well as everything else. But I don't want to have a phone constantly demanding attention (as his seems to do - it never shuts up! - and I like peace and quiet, not being bombarded with text messages and calls. No Smart phones for me. Huh!

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    1. Thank you. Change is harder to accept when we get older don't you think some things that change aren't for the better - I seem to resist technology too - it took me ages to change my cronky old computer for a new one.

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  17. Your thought provoking post has been on my mind since I first read it. What occurs to me is that we become familiar and comfortable with many aspects of our life, adjusting over time. When there is sudden change beyond our control, it definitely catches us off guard, and, as you say, is unsettling. I guess it shakes us out of our comfort zone... Who likes being shaken? haha Anyway, I'm looking forward to the upheaval as you attack your renovations because now I'm ready for it...and I don't have to actually live it! You will miss your long-time neighbour as I'm sure she will miss you ~

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    1. I think you have hit the nail on the head Glo - I am quite happy in my comfort zone but do need to be shaken out of it sometimes even though I may not like it to start with.

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  19. Beautiful flowers in the first photo and raindrops on nasturtium leaves. How lovely.

    Most of the comments on this post reveal you are not alone in resisting change. As I grow older I find change even more tiresome and as I am currently facing a big challenge regarding change it will be very, very interesting to see how I will cope. I have a few people who will prod me along towards the end result, which is just what I need.
    Ms Soup

    Ms Soup

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    1. Thanks Ms. Soup - yes sometimes it's the big changes that are the hardest to cope with - good luck with yours.

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  20. I am just the same as you when it comes to change. I find it very unsettling. I will come upon a familiar view and stop, feeling that there's something different, and becoming quite troubled about it ... usually, a tree has been cut down or some such. After being a suburban gypsy for all my youth, I'd have thought I'd be comfortable now with change. But no.

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    1. It's strange isn't it that some of us are more aware of change than others - I think I probably accept change more than I realise - it's only when I notice that I fight against it.

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  21. I am not big on change either, but as I get older I am actually getting better with change I think. I realise that it is necessary and that things will change no matter how much I try to stop them. So I am trying to embrace it and go with it rather than resist it. I hope that you can find peace with change in your life. xx

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    1. I do agree with you Amy things do change no matter what - I am ok once I get used to an idea it just takes me a while to get there.

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  22. Dear Elaine, I share your thoughts about change - to a certain degree at least, because without change things might become a bit boring. Though there I know quite a few parts in life where I would prefer to be slightly bored more than being shocked into change. You quoted Laotse above - and if I ever learned from Daoism one thing, it's: everything goes from Yin to Yang - and then changes again. That is comforting in its un-changing way, isn't it?

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    1. Yes it is Britta - I have seen many many big changes in my lifetime and of course eventually I have accepted them all - we have no choice really do we.

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  23. We mostly don't like changes, it unsettles and makes us feel uncomfortable. But......when there should not be any changes at all in life it would be much worse......

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    1. Yes, I guess so Janneke - wise words as always.

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  24. I'm someone who tends to love change, and who thrives on change. But in the past couple of years I've had more than enough change - even for me! I want some quiet times now. Yes - some changes can be good, but even the good stuff can be unsettling. I'm appreciating predictable rhythms at the moment, because I know that change, and all its tidal shifts will appear sooner or later.

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    1. Well I guess it wouldn't do for us all to be the same - maybe I just get stuck in a rut and am frightened to move out of my comfort zone - once I am out of the rut and got the right mindset I'm ok.

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  25. What wonderful quotations you have found and shared Elaine. I especially like the Lao Tzu one. One I think of often goes something like accepting the things you can't change, having the courage to change the things you can, and having the wisdom to know the difference!

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    1. Thanks Freda. Oh yes I forgot about that one - I shall have to bear it in mind in future.

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  26. A great way to deal with change - blog about it! You did a masterful job Elaine! I hope writing your beautiful blog helped with the changes you face. I was fortunate to have a group of friends close for nearly 30 years and more, and then THE change came, and I didn't like it a bit. Even now, more than a year later, your quotes and poem help to heal!

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    1. Hi Jayne - nice to see you hear after such a long time. Your change was a BIG change - not sure how I would have coped with that. Thanks for your kind comment.

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  27. Ah Elaine- I so identify with this post. Like you close friends (our best ones) have purchased a house out of our area. Will certainly miss them. Need a kitchen redo-major change as well as mess. I am dragging my feet. So you are not alone regarding change. Thanks for sharing your thoughts as well as your lovely photos. Hugs!

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    1. I suppose we all have to move forward at some point but I am comfortable with the familiar change certainly makes life interesting if not scary.

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  28. I don't enjoy change either! I probably wouldn't have moved if my husband hadn't persuaded me . We wish now we had changed our home more often! I don't like seeing the move into autumn it is heading in the wrong direction for me! Sarah x

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  29. Sorry for the delay in replying Sarah - I'm not sure I could put up with the stress of moving more often. I'm with you on the summer moving into autumn definitely the wrong direction but not a lot we can do about it.

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