D: It's your birthday soon - is there anything that you want?
ME: Not really, I've already got too much stuff. Just get me a nice bunch of flowers.
D: Isn't there a book you would like?
ME: Not really, I've already got a pile of unread books. Just get me a nice bunch of flowers.
D: But I've got to buy you something!
ME: I've told you - a bunch of flowers will be lovely - really!
A week later at a garden centre.
ME: Oh look at that lovely Hamamellis (bends down to sniff at the burnt orange flowers) Oh it smells of vanilla. But look at the price (£27.50) I can't warrant spending that however lovely it's fragrance.
D: I could buy it for you for your birthday.
ME: (Eyes light up).
D: What do you think - would you like it?
ME: Oh alright then - if it will shut you up asking about birthday presents. Thank you.
D: Oh - I didn't bring any money with me.
ME: Oh - neither did I. Just enough for a bag of potting compost. Well, that's that then. (disappointment).
D: Sorry about that.
ME: Not to worry - a bunch of flowers would be lovely.
Next day I went out to shop and when I returned there was the Hamamellis in all its Wintersweet glory sitting by the back door. Beautiful.
Happy Birthday To Me.
p.s. In the end I had to buy myself a bunch of flowers!